 |
| Yumei Tan |
Poem 1:
Absurd World
by ©Beidao15062025
Chapter One: Flowers
My wife,
I’m sorry!
All I can leave you
are
tears,
regret,
and mental scars.
What else
can I give you?
Maybe
that brief moment
of happiness,
love,
that once made me believe
there was
hope to live.
Before I met you,
no one ever gave me
love.
So that day,
I was in tears
when you said you loved me.
I was in tears.
Before that,
my world
was gray,
filled with
indifference,
violence,
psychoactive drugs,
and
alcohol.
In that gray,
black world,
no one ever thought of me
sometimes,
I too needed flowers.
Those colorful,
warm flowers
now
are placed before my tombstone
Do I deserve them?
Now I have everything I need.
Take them away,
please take them all away!
⸻
Chapter Two: Alcohol
Those
white,
red,
brown liquids
They
enter the mouth,
reach the bloodstream,
and flow from my parents’ bodies
into mine.
The alcohol absorbed
by the stomach
breaks down into gas
that comes out of
their greedy mouths,
that disgusting smell
permeated
my entire
childhood.
Alcohol
a flammable liquid.
From the day I learned this,
I have constantly thought,
I want to smash their bottles,
then
set fire,
burn this house down,
burn all the people inside.
But these
are only fantasies.
In reality,
I am so cowardly
I don’t even dare to kill a fish.
Alcohol
flows in my blood.
The more I resist,
the closer it gets.
I finally became like them
dependent on it,
worshipping it,
unable to live
without it.
Because
it is the cheapest
mental anesthetic.
⸻
Chapter Three: Indifferent Family
My father
is a civil servant
a respectable job
that became his shield.
In front of outsiders,
he smiles cheerfully,
attentive and polite.
But at home,
he drinks and rages,
beating me
like family routine.
People in this family
are masters of disguise,
like chameleons.
Except for close ones,
no one truly knows
his real face.
He didn’t even attend
his elder brother’s funeral,
just because there was nothing
valuable left to him in the will.
My mother
loves money and alcohol
more than her own children.
She is a kindergarten teacher
who dislikes children.
She admires strength
and despises the weak.
Thus, she broke ties
early on
with her own brother and sister
just because
one was too poor,
the other mentally ill.
My older sister,
eight years older than me,
lived with grandparents
before age ten.
After ten, she returned to parents.
Rebellious,
distant,
she married young
and moved out,
visiting home occasionally,
always cautiously.
My younger sister,
two years younger,
inherited the family’s
indifference, toughness,
and scheming.
A refined egoist,
she has no love or care
for children,
yet always works with them.
She once liked a man
who was known for kindness
and love for children.
To impress him on dates,
she even borrowed a friend’s child,
but the child disliked her,
crying and wanting to leave.
My sister had grandparents’ love,
my younger sister was
father’s favorite,
but I was the boy
no one loved or cared for.
“You look plain,
you’re too weak,”
they said.
“Not cold enough”
became another fault.
I could never meet
their demands,
never fulfill their expectations.
I was gloomy, sensitive,
kind, fragile.
Yet my well-educated father
always raised his hands
violence was his creed,
especially he’s drunk.
My ruthless mother
never defended me.
“You coward,” she said,
“If you have guts, shoot him dead.”
I always felt
there was a gloomy,
terrifying ghost
in the house
holding strings,
we were its puppets.
It raised my father’s hands
again and again,
each slap
cutting through my face,
tearing apart my soul.
⸻
Chapter Four: School Bullying
They bullied me
for three years
a long 1,095 days.
How did I survive?
At thirteen,
I was already
hopeless about family,
desperate to be accepted
by my peers at school.
But they tore my books,
ripped my backpack,
threw my lunch
into the trash.
After school,
they wouldn’t let me go home,
humiliated me,
stripped my clothes.
I never told my family
all that I endured.
I knew my father would say,
“You’re too weak.”
My mother would throw a gun at me,
“Kill them,” she’d say.
I once tried to tell my teacher
But that male teacher
didn’t care at all
Later I learned
he was related to one of the boys,
and another bully
was the principal’s son.
I always buried my head
in my clothes,
imagining it would soon end.
Three whole springs passed—
I finally developed depression.
⸻
Chapter Five: Depression
Ten o’clock appointment
a chubby female psychologist
with a slurred tongue,
hungover
that smell,
I knew it too well.
She had indulged the night before,
still drunk.
Panic attack,
cry for help.
I dialed 321.
Two nurses arrived
one tall, one short,
one male, one female.
They took my blood pressure,
checked my heart rate.
“You’re fine,”
they said.
“The ambulance is busy,
take a taxi yourself.”
But no one knew
I was one thought away
from death.
The locked ward
felt suffocating,
but I longed for cure,
though I saw through
many proud, indifferent nurses
who didn’t treat me as human.
Their care was fake.
Again a group
of people who didn’t love others,
doing a job
that requires loving others—
just like my sister and my mother.
⸻
Chapter Six: Medication
Try this medicine,
try that medicine.
If you fear palpitations,
here’s something to lower your heart rate.
If you can’t sleep at night,
here’s a sleeping pill.
If you’re anxious,
here’s anti-anxiety meds.
If you have stomach pain,
here’s painkillers.
For two years,
I tried many drugs.
The right one
was never found.
Side effects
worsened my depression.
Day after day,
a long torment.
Alcohol
drinking more and more…
I eventually became
the poor, weak
mentally ill person
my mother despises.
⸻
Chapter Seven: Wife and Child
My wife,
I know
you cannot understand
my world
it is a locked prison
in my heart.
No key
can open it.
My wife,
take care of our poor child.
He cannot speak yet,
but I know he misses me,
like those silent trees and grass.
You cut trees, you mow grass
their roots cry,
you just can’t hear it.
My wife,
you made me know
that in this world
love truly
exists.
I know you bear
my depression,
drunkenness,
and my strange,
anxious personality.
I don’t deserve you,
I fear you will leave me.
So every time you say
you want to leave,
my sky collapses.
Do you mean it?
You say it once,
I die once.
Finally,
that day,
when I came home,
the door was closed tight.
I thought you really
left me with the child,
so I took a knife,
cut my wrist.
Blood gushed out,
flowing from the second floor
to the first,
all the way
to your feet.
My wife, my son,
take care,
farewell,
absurd world.
I’ve had enough.
Pretend I never came.
Take away those flowers!
Please!
Take them all away!
——————————
Poem 1 (Chinese version)
荒唐的世界
文：©北道15062025
第一章： 鲜花
吾妻
对不起！
我能留给你的
只有
眼泪
悔恨
和精神创伤
还有什么呢
我可以给予？
或许吧！
那一小段
快乐的时光
爱情
曾让我以为
有了
活着的希望
在遇到你之前
没有人给过我
爱
所以那一天
我泪流满面
当你说你爱我
我泪流满面
此前
我的世界
一片灰暗
它充斥着
冷漠
暴力
精神药物
以及
酒精
那灰色的
黑色的世界里
没有人曾想起过
有时候
我也需要
鲜花
那些五颜六色的
温暖的鲜花
现在
摆放在我的墓碑前
可我配吗？
我如今
什么都不缺了
拿走它们
请拿走它们吧！
第二章：酒精
那些
白色的
红色的
褐色的液体
它们
从口中
到达了血管
又从父母的身体中
流淌进我的身体
那被胃肠吸收后的酒精
分解出来的气体
从他们那贪婪的嘴里呼出
那恶心的气味
弥漫在我的
整个
童年里
酒精
它是一种可以燃烧的液体
从我知道此事的那一天
我无时无刻不在想
我要打碎他们的酒瓶
然后
一把火
点燃
烧掉这个房子
烧死这里的所有人
可这些
只不过是幻想而已
现实中的我
懦弱得
甚至不敢杀死一条鱼
酒精
它已流淌在我的血液里
我越是抗拒它
它就越靠得更近
我最终变成了他们
依赖它
信仰它
没有它
我根本活不下去
因为
它是最廉价的
精神麻醉剂
第三章：冷漠的家庭
父亲
是个公务员
一份体面的职业
成了他的挡箭牌
在外人面前
他眉开眼笑
殷勤周到
在家人面前
他酗酒发疯
打骂我
如同家长便饭
这家族的人们
都特别擅长伪装
象变色龙一样
除了亲近的人
没人真正知道
他真实的模样
他甚至没去参加
亲哥哥的葬礼
只因为他的遗嘱里
没给他留下什么
有价值的东西
母亲
热爱金钱和酒精
甚过爱自己的孩子
她是一个
不喜欢小孩子的
幻儿园老师
慕强
厌恶弱者
所以他与自己的哥哥和姐姐
早早就断了联系
因为
一个太穷
另一个患有
精神疾病
我那大我八岁的姐姐
十岁之前住在爷爷奶奶家
十岁之后回归父母
叛逆
疏离
早早就结了婚
搬了出去
偶尔回家拜访
也总是小心翼翼
我那小我两岁的妹妹
她继承了这个家族的
冷漠、强势、和算计
是个精致的利己主义者
她没有爱心
不爱孩子
却总在做着
与小孩子们打交道的事情
她曾遇到过一个心仪的男人
只因听说那个男人是个有爱心
喜欢小孩子的人
为了在约会的时候得到他
给他留下一个美好的印象
她尽然借了朋友的小孩
但是小孩不喜欢她
哭着闹着要离开
姐姐有爷爷奶奶疼她
妹妹是父亲喜欢的孩子
而我
是那个没人疼没人爱的男孩
你长相普通
你太懦弱
他们总说
似乎不够冷漠
也成为了一种错
我总无法达到他们的要求
也总无法满足他们的期望
我阴郁、敏感、
我善良、脆弱
可我那受过良好教育的父亲
却习惯对我
举起他的手
暴力是他的信仰
特别是在
他醉酒之后
我那无情的母亲
也从来不帮我说一句话
你这个孬种
她说
有本事你就开枪打死他
我一直觉得
家里有个阴郁恐怖的鬼魂
它提着根线
我们是它摆布的木偶
它一次又一次
提起我父亲的手
一巴掌一巴掌地
打在我的脸上
撕裂了我的心和魂
第四章：校园霸凌
他们欺凌我
长达三年
漫长的1095天
我是怎么过来的？
十三岁的我
本已对家庭绝望
渴望在学校里
被同龄人接受
可是
他们撕我的书
划破我的书包
他们把我的午餐
扔进垃圾桶
放学后
他们不让我回家
羞辱我
脱掉我的衣服
我从未告诉过家人
我正在承受的一切
我知道我的父亲会说
是你太懦弱
我的母亲会丢一把枪给我
杀死他们吧
她一定会说
我曾试图告诉我的班主任
我所遭受的一切
可那个男老师
没当作一回事
我后来得知
他是其中一个男生的亲戚
而另一个霸凌者
他是校长的儿子
我总把头埋进衣服里
想象这一切
很快会过去
三年了整整三个春天
我终于患上抑郁症
第五章：抑郁症
十点的预约
胖胖的女心理医生
说话大舌头
宿醉
那气味
我太过熟悉
她在昨夜纵欲了
似乎酒还没有醒
惊恐发作
求救
我打了321
来了两个护士
一高一矮
一男一女
他们量我的血压
测我的心率
“你一切正常”
他们说
救护车很忙
你自己打车去医院吧
可没有人知道
我与死亡
只有一个念头的距离
那上了锁的病房
让我感觉到窒息
但我渴望被治愈
尽管我一眼看穿
有不少高傲冷漠的护士
并没有把我当人看
他们的关怀
假惺惺
又是一群
不爱别人的人
做着一份
爱别人才能做好的工作
就像是我的妹妹和母亲
第六章：药物
试一下这个药
试一下那个药
你恐惧心悸
给你降低心率的药
你晚上睡不着
给你安眠的药
你焦虑不安
给你抗燥的药
你肚子痛
给你止痛的药
两年了
试过很多药
正确的药物
最终没找到
而药物负作用
又加重了抑郁
一天又一天
漫长的煎熬
酒
越喝越多…
我最终成为了
我妈讨厌的
又穷又弱的
精神病人
第七章：妻儿
吾妻
我知道
你无法理解
我的世界
那是我心里一个
上了锁的的牢房
无论什么钥匙
都打不开它
吾妻
照顾好我们可怜的孩子
他还不会说话
但我知道他想我了
如同那些不说话的树和草
你砍了树你割了草
它们的根在哭泣
只是你听不见吧
吾妻
是你让我知道
在这个世界上
确实存在着
爱
吾妻
我知道你忍受着
我的抑郁
酗酒
以及我那古怪的
患得患失的性格
我配不上你
我怕你会离开我
所以
每一次你说你要走
我的天空就塌了
你是当真的吗
你说一次
我死一次
最终
在那天
当我回到家里
看见房门紧闭
我以为你真的
带着孩子离开了
所以我用刀
割了我的手腕
血液奔涌而出
从二楼流到一楼
一直流到了你的脚下
吾妻
吾子
保重啊
永别了
这荒唐的世界
我已受够
就当我重来没有来过
那些鲜花
拿走吧！
请全部带走！
by ©Beidao15062025
Chapter One: Flowers
My wife,
I’m sorry!
All I can leave you
are
tears,
regret,
and mental scars.
What else
can I give you?
Maybe
that brief moment
of happiness,
love,
that once made me believe
there was
hope to live.
Before I met you,
no one ever gave me
love.
So that day,
I was in tears
when you said you loved me.
I was in tears.
Before that,
my world
was gray,
filled with
indifference,
violence,
psychoactive drugs,
and
alcohol.
In that gray,
black world,
no one ever thought of me
sometimes,
I too needed flowers.
Those colorful,
warm flowers
now
are placed before my tombstone
Do I deserve them?
Now I have everything I need.
Take them away,
please take them all away!
⸻
Chapter Two: Alcohol
Those
white,
red,
brown liquids
They
enter the mouth,
reach the bloodstream,
and flow from my parents’ bodies
into mine.
The alcohol absorbed
by the stomach
breaks down into gas
that comes out of
their greedy mouths,
that disgusting smell
permeated
my entire
childhood.
Alcohol
a flammable liquid.
From the day I learned this,
I have constantly thought,
I want to smash their bottles,
then
set fire,
burn this house down,
burn all the people inside.
But these
are only fantasies.
In reality,
I am so cowardly
I don’t even dare to kill a fish.
Alcohol
flows in my blood.
The more I resist,
the closer it gets.
I finally became like them
dependent on it,
worshipping it,
unable to live
without it.
Because
it is the cheapest
mental anesthetic.
⸻
Chapter Three: Indifferent Family
My father
is a civil servant
a respectable job
that became his shield.
In front of outsiders,
he smiles cheerfully,
attentive and polite.
But at home,
he drinks and rages,
beating me
like family routine.
People in this family
are masters of disguise,
like chameleons.
Except for close ones,
no one truly knows
his real face.
He didn’t even attend
his elder brother’s funeral,
just because there was nothing
valuable left to him in the will.
My mother
loves money and alcohol
more than her own children.
She is a kindergarten teacher
who dislikes children.
She admires strength
and despises the weak.
Thus, she broke ties
early on
with her own brother and sister
just because
one was too poor,
the other mentally ill.
My older sister,
eight years older than me,
lived with grandparents
before age ten.
After ten, she returned to parents.
Rebellious,
distant,
she married young
and moved out,
visiting home occasionally,
always cautiously.
My younger sister,
two years younger,
inherited the family’s
indifference, toughness,
and scheming.
A refined egoist,
she has no love or care
for children,
yet always works with them.
She once liked a man
who was known for kindness
and love for children.
To impress him on dates,
she even borrowed a friend’s child,
but the child disliked her,
crying and wanting to leave.
My sister had grandparents’ love,
my younger sister was
father’s favorite,
but I was the boy
no one loved or cared for.
“You look plain,
you’re too weak,”
they said.
“Not cold enough”
became another fault.
I could never meet
their demands,
never fulfill their expectations.
I was gloomy, sensitive,
kind, fragile.
Yet my well-educated father
always raised his hands
violence was his creed,
especially he’s drunk.
My ruthless mother
never defended me.
“You coward,” she said,
“If you have guts, shoot him dead.”
I always felt
there was a gloomy,
terrifying ghost
in the house
holding strings,
we were its puppets.
It raised my father’s hands
again and again,
each slap
cutting through my face,
tearing apart my soul.
⸻
Chapter Four: School Bullying
They bullied me
for three years
a long 1,095 days.
How did I survive?
At thirteen,
I was already
hopeless about family,
desperate to be accepted
by my peers at school.
But they tore my books,
ripped my backpack,
threw my lunch
into the trash.
After school,
they wouldn’t let me go home,
humiliated me,
stripped my clothes.
I never told my family
all that I endured.
I knew my father would say,
“You’re too weak.”
My mother would throw a gun at me,
“Kill them,” she’d say.
I once tried to tell my teacher
But that male teacher
didn’t care at all
Later I learned
he was related to one of the boys,
and another bully
was the principal’s son.
I always buried my head
in my clothes,
imagining it would soon end.
Three whole springs passed—
I finally developed depression.
⸻
Chapter Five: Depression
Ten o’clock appointment
a chubby female psychologist
with a slurred tongue,
hungover
that smell,
I knew it too well.
She had indulged the night before,
still drunk.
Panic attack,
cry for help.
I dialed 321.
Two nurses arrived
one tall, one short,
one male, one female.
They took my blood pressure,
checked my heart rate.
“You’re fine,”
they said.
“The ambulance is busy,
take a taxi yourself.”
But no one knew
I was one thought away
from death.
The locked ward
felt suffocating,
but I longed for cure,
though I saw through
many proud, indifferent nurses
who didn’t treat me as human.
Their care was fake.
Again a group
of people who didn’t love others,
doing a job
that requires loving others—
just like my sister and my mother.
⸻
Chapter Six: Medication
Try this medicine,
try that medicine.
If you fear palpitations,
here’s something to lower your heart rate.
If you can’t sleep at night,
here’s a sleeping pill.
If you’re anxious,
here’s anti-anxiety meds.
If you have stomach pain,
here’s painkillers.
For two years,
I tried many drugs.
The right one
was never found.
Side effects
worsened my depression.
Day after day,
a long torment.
Alcohol
drinking more and more…
I eventually became
the poor, weak
mentally ill person
my mother despises.
⸻
Chapter Seven: Wife and Child
My wife,
I know
you cannot understand
my world
it is a locked prison
in my heart.
No key
can open it.
My wife,
take care of our poor child.
He cannot speak yet,
but I know he misses me,
like those silent trees and grass.
You cut trees, you mow grass
their roots cry,
you just can’t hear it.
My wife,
you made me know
that in this world
love truly
exists.
I know you bear
my depression,
drunkenness,
and my strange,
anxious personality.
I don’t deserve you,
I fear you will leave me.
So every time you say
you want to leave,
my sky collapses.
Do you mean it?
You say it once,
I die once.
Finally,
that day,
when I came home,
the door was closed tight.
I thought you really
left me with the child,
so I took a knife,
cut my wrist.
Blood gushed out,
flowing from the second floor
to the first,
all the way
to your feet.
My wife, my son,
take care,
farewell,
absurd world.
I’ve had enough.
Pretend I never came.
Take away those flowers!
Please!
Take them all away!
——————————
Poem 1 (Chinese version)
荒唐的世界
文：©北道15062025
第一章： 鲜花
吾妻
对不起！
我能留给你的
只有
眼泪
悔恨
和精神创伤
还有什么呢
我可以给予？
或许吧！
那一小段
快乐的时光
爱情
曾让我以为
有了
活着的希望
在遇到你之前
没有人给过我
爱
所以那一天
我泪流满面
当你说你爱我
我泪流满面
此前
我的世界
一片灰暗
它充斥着
冷漠
暴力
精神药物
以及
酒精
那灰色的
黑色的世界里
没有人曾想起过
有时候
我也需要
鲜花
那些五颜六色的
温暖的鲜花
现在
摆放在我的墓碑前
可我配吗？
我如今
什么都不缺了
拿走它们
请拿走它们吧！
第二章：酒精
那些
白色的
红色的
褐色的液体
它们
从口中
到达了血管
又从父母的身体中
流淌进我的身体
那被胃肠吸收后的酒精
分解出来的气体
从他们那贪婪的嘴里呼出
那恶心的气味
弥漫在我的
整个
童年里
酒精
它是一种可以燃烧的液体
从我知道此事的那一天
我无时无刻不在想
我要打碎他们的酒瓶
然后
一把火
点燃
烧掉这个房子
烧死这里的所有人
可这些
只不过是幻想而已
现实中的我
懦弱得
甚至不敢杀死一条鱼
酒精
它已流淌在我的血液里
我越是抗拒它
它就越靠得更近
我最终变成了他们
依赖它
信仰它
没有它
我根本活不下去
因为
它是最廉价的
精神麻醉剂
第三章：冷漠的家庭
父亲
是个公务员
一份体面的职业
成了他的挡箭牌
在外人面前
他眉开眼笑
殷勤周到
在家人面前
他酗酒发疯
打骂我
如同家长便饭
这家族的人们
都特别擅长伪装
象变色龙一样
除了亲近的人
没人真正知道
他真实的模样
他甚至没去参加
亲哥哥的葬礼
只因为他的遗嘱里
没给他留下什么
有价值的东西
母亲
热爱金钱和酒精
甚过爱自己的孩子
她是一个
不喜欢小孩子的
幻儿园老师
慕强
厌恶弱者
所以他与自己的哥哥和姐姐
早早就断了联系
因为
一个太穷
另一个患有
精神疾病
我那大我八岁的姐姐
十岁之前住在爷爷奶奶家
十岁之后回归父母
叛逆
疏离
早早就结了婚
搬了出去
偶尔回家拜访
也总是小心翼翼
我那小我两岁的妹妹
她继承了这个家族的
冷漠、强势、和算计
是个精致的利己主义者
她没有爱心
不爱孩子
却总在做着
与小孩子们打交道的事情
她曾遇到过一个心仪的男人
只因听说那个男人是个有爱心
喜欢小孩子的人
为了在约会的时候得到他
给他留下一个美好的印象
她尽然借了朋友的小孩
但是小孩不喜欢她
哭着闹着要离开
姐姐有爷爷奶奶疼她
妹妹是父亲喜欢的孩子
而我
是那个没人疼没人爱的男孩
你长相普通
你太懦弱
他们总说
似乎不够冷漠
也成为了一种错
我总无法达到他们的要求
也总无法满足他们的期望
我阴郁、敏感、
我善良、脆弱
可我那受过良好教育的父亲
却习惯对我
举起他的手
暴力是他的信仰
特别是在
他醉酒之后
我那无情的母亲
也从来不帮我说一句话
你这个孬种
她说
有本事你就开枪打死他
我一直觉得
家里有个阴郁恐怖的鬼魂
它提着根线
我们是它摆布的木偶
它一次又一次
提起我父亲的手
一巴掌一巴掌地
打在我的脸上
撕裂了我的心和魂
第四章：校园霸凌
他们欺凌我
长达三年
漫长的1095天
我是怎么过来的？
十三岁的我
本已对家庭绝望
渴望在学校里
被同龄人接受
可是
他们撕我的书
划破我的书包
他们把我的午餐
扔进垃圾桶
放学后
他们不让我回家
羞辱我
脱掉我的衣服
我从未告诉过家人
我正在承受的一切
我知道我的父亲会说
是你太懦弱
我的母亲会丢一把枪给我
杀死他们吧
她一定会说
我曾试图告诉我的班主任
我所遭受的一切
可那个男老师
没当作一回事
我后来得知
他是其中一个男生的亲戚
而另一个霸凌者
他是校长的儿子
我总把头埋进衣服里
想象这一切
很快会过去
三年了整整三个春天
我终于患上抑郁症
第五章：抑郁症
十点的预约
胖胖的女心理医生
说话大舌头
宿醉
那气味
我太过熟悉
她在昨夜纵欲了
似乎酒还没有醒
惊恐发作
求救
我打了321
来了两个护士
一高一矮
一男一女
他们量我的血压
测我的心率
“你一切正常”
他们说
救护车很忙
你自己打车去医院吧
可没有人知道
我与死亡
只有一个念头的距离
那上了锁的病房
让我感觉到窒息
但我渴望被治愈
尽管我一眼看穿
有不少高傲冷漠的护士
并没有把我当人看
他们的关怀
假惺惺
又是一群
不爱别人的人
做着一份
爱别人才能做好的工作
就像是我的妹妹和母亲
第六章：药物
试一下这个药
试一下那个药
你恐惧心悸
给你降低心率的药
你晚上睡不着
给你安眠的药
你焦虑不安
给你抗燥的药
你肚子痛
给你止痛的药
两年了
试过很多药
正确的药物
最终没找到
而药物负作用
又加重了抑郁
一天又一天
漫长的煎熬
酒
越喝越多…
我最终成为了
我妈讨厌的
又穷又弱的
精神病人
第七章：妻儿
吾妻
我知道
你无法理解
我的世界
那是我心里一个
上了锁的的牢房
无论什么钥匙
都打不开它
吾妻
照顾好我们可怜的孩子
他还不会说话
但我知道他想我了
如同那些不说话的树和草
你砍了树你割了草
它们的根在哭泣
只是你听不见吧
吾妻
是你让我知道
在这个世界上
确实存在着
爱
吾妻
我知道你忍受着
我的抑郁
酗酒
以及我那古怪的
患得患失的性格
我配不上你
我怕你会离开我
所以
每一次你说你要走
我的天空就塌了
你是当真的吗
你说一次
我死一次
最终
在那天
当我回到家里
看见房门紧闭
我以为你真的
带着孩子离开了
所以我用刀
割了我的手腕
血液奔涌而出
从二楼流到一楼
一直流到了你的脚下
吾妻
吾子
保重啊
永别了
这荒唐的世界
我已受够
就当我重来没有来过
那些鲜花
拿走吧！
请全部带走！
————————————————————
Poem 2:
Seven Haunting Days
After the Cliff Fall
By ©Beidao29/05/2025
Chapter 1: Day One
(Emergency Room)
The sun rising
over the Mekong River
Suddenly turned
from red to black
Like free fall
I plummeted
On the cliffs of Pha Taem
Those cave paintings
Of turtles and catfish
Were submerged once again
From the rock walls
They escaped
The mushroom-shaped stone columns
One by one, collapsed
From the shattered stones
The ancient beings sleeping within
Awoke
In the waterfall
What splashes down from the sky
Is blood, surging
So red
I thought I heard
My unborn baby crying
My body
Shattered like a puzzle
But
My child,
Are you still okay?
Someone beside me said,
“What a miracle she survived!
The tree branches on the cliff
Saved her.
But the baby…
Can it survive?”
I couldn’t move, couldn’t speak
The noise and commotion around me
Felt like it came from
Another
World
Am I in the afterlife?
But I saw him
He stood beside me
Pretending to be gentle
Stroking my hair
But his eyes
Filled with disappointment and malice
“Why are you still alive!”
“There were no cameras there.
Even if you talk,
I’ll just be questioned.
When I return from the police station,
I’ll kill you slowly!”
Yes, why didn’t I die?
How ugly
A husband trying to kill his wife
A father trying to kill his child
Please, let me die!
Doctors, don’t save me!
I had worked so hard to live
Day and night without rest
At thirty,
I was already a well-known entrepreneur
But I lacked love
Until he came
And I believed
I finally had a simple, happy life
Those eyes once looked at me
With affection
“Will you marry me?”
He asked me a thousand times
He once led a white horse
Kneeling before me
“Not only monks ride white horses
Princes do too!”
He said
He once sat outside my door
All night
“I miss you so much
But didn’t want to disturb you.”
God, was I not worthy?
Did I ask too much?
Why did you send me
A demon
To wound me again and again?
We were supposed to watch the sunrise
Was that to be
My final moment?
He said, “Go to hell!”
And pushed me off the cliff
34 meters high
So the scenic sign says
On the eve of our second anniversary
Our unborn child
Already five months old
Suddenly
I woke up
I can’t die, I can’t die
If I die, the baby dies
Doctor, please save me!
Is my baby okay?
For the sake of the child
I sealed my lips shut
Said nothing to anyone
I knew how easily
He could kill me
Anywhere, anytime
(My broken, mangled body
Was wheeled into the OR…)
⸻
Chapter 2: Day Two
(ICU - Private Room)
Unconscious…
I ran through a forest
Covered with fallen leaves
Fleeing for my life
The weight I carried
My baby inside me
Someone chased behind me
Knife in his hand
The pale yellow sunset
Disappeared
Light faded
I couldn’t see the road
Only crashed through blindly
“Mom! Mom!”
A child’s voice called to me
“This way… this way…”
A child guiding me
I couldn’t see his face
He called me “Mom”
Then I noticed
My belly was empty
“This way… hurry… turn back… danger…”
I looked carefully at my feet
Ah! The cliff!
Anesthesia wore off
I woke up
Countless stitched wounds
Ached beyond words
From the IV drip
Medication slowly flowed
Into our bodies
I longed to pull the needle out
The drugs
They might hurt my baby
But without them
We might both die
Eyes closed
The nightmares came
Eyes open
Hell remained
More terrifying than death
Was him
He didn’t eat, didn’t drink, didn’t sleep
Refused to leave
Watched me like a hawk
Doctors and nurses
came and went
He had plenty of chances
To kill me again
He studied my breathing
His eyes
Scanned the room
Pillows oh pillows
Will he smother me?
I held my breath
Shut my eyes tight
Pretending to still be
Unconscious
The heart monitor beside the bed
Beep… beep… beep…
Even it seemed to anxiously
Await
A tragic ending
Oh God
Please
Let my child
Escape from this hell
⸻
Chapter 3: Day Three
(ICU - Private Room)
Those cliff carvings
Three thousand years old
Did the artisans who created them
Fall into depression
And leap from the cliff?
Every day, every night
Souls leaping from skyscrapers
What made them
So resolutely
Fascinated
By that final moment
Of flight?
A glass of water
on the bedside table
Was knocked over by a nurse
It fell, shattered
Into countless pieces
Isn’t that
Exactly what I’ve become?
And my baby
Fragilely
Wrapped in amniotic fluid
Pregnant
And still I believed him
Went to see a sunrise?
Why was I so foolish?
We climbed
That cliff carved with
Three-thousand-year-old totems
Broken water glass
A picture fallen from the wall
A blanket slipping to the floor
Hair falling over my shoulder
I never realized
All free falls
Are terrifying
Today
Several police officers arrived
Asked how I fell
Help me!
I wanted to grab them
Tell them the truth
Let out all my pain
But that man watched me
Every second might be
My last
The security they brought
Was no match
For my fear of him
“I was dizzy! I slipped and fell!”
I said
The police left
I watched their backs
My heart
Cried
⸻
Chapter 4: Day Four
(ICU - Private Room)
I said
I forgave him
Just like before
Once again
I forgave him
He took 5 million
From my company’s account
Spent it in a week
I forgave him
He hid debts from before marriage
After marriage, I helped him pay
I forgave him
He didn’t work
Played games all day
I gave him a company
Taught him to manage it
I supported him without question
A friend once told me
That before we met
He’d studied me on social media
For three years
Thinking back now
Chilling
For my baby’s sake
I had to act weak
He knew I was soft-hearted
Let down his guard
Allowed Ms. Wang to visit
She—
A mutual friend
She once warned me:
“You better be careful
You’re wealthy
Maybe he only loves your money.”
She was right
He loved the money
Everything
The romance, the proposal, the family—
All part of
A calculated trap
Even his own unborn child
Was an obstacle
He had planned
To push us off the cliff
If we died
Everything would be his
Suddenly I screamed
“You beast—are you even human?
I treated you so well!
Even a tiger spares its cubs
Why would you try to kill
Your own child?”
He stood up
Shocked
“You better shut your mouth!
If the thing gets out,
You’ll die before I do.”
Our friend calmed him carefully
“Relax, relax
We won’t tell anyone.
It’s your family’s business.
Private matters stay private.”
But her phone
In her purse
Was recording everything
That recording
Would be the only evidence
Of this murder attempt
⸻
Chapter 5: Day Five
(From ICU to General Ward)
The painkillers
Blurred day and night
Is it morning now?
Please, let me wake
Don’t let the nightmares
Keep haunting me
Nightmares…
The wedding photo on the wall
He’s smiling—strangely
From his face
At some point
Smoke began to rise
Thick and black
A fire broke out
The forest was burning
I was running through
Ah! That familiar forest—
Again
“Run, Mama! Run!”
A child’s voice was yelling
I couldn’t see him
But something tripped me
I looked up
Vaguely
Dimly visible, faintly glowing
That same
34-meter-high cliff
I crouched down
My hands
Touched something round
Wet
cold
A mass of flesh and blood
The thing that tripped me
It felt like…
A body
A child’s body
The one who called me “Mama”…
Terror…
Finally
He let down his guard
Left to get breakfast
The doctor came on rounds
And brought bad news
He said,
“You need to be prepared—”
“The baby inside you
Can’t be saved
Too many drugs
Your condition’s too poor
It won’t make it”
Doctor, please!
Save my child!
It’s so strong
It even survived
the fall from the cliff
“Yes, it’s a miracle,”
The doctor said
“If it had died right away
You’d have suffered
massive bleeding
You both would have died
Immediately
It held on
To protect its mother
That’s a miracle!”
Doctor, I’m begging you
Save my baby
It’s protecting me
But I… I didn’t protect it
How will I go on living?
Doctor
While he’s gone
I want to tell you something
It was him
He pushed us off
From the cliff…
He tried to kill us
The doctor moved me
To a general ward
Four beds per room
No family allowed
Overnight stay
Visitors permitted
Only fifteen minutes
Morning, noon, and night
Since the fall
From sorrow, fear, and anxiety
By the grace of God
I could finally
Catch my breath
Free from his
constant
surveillance
⸻
Chapter 6: Day Six
(General Ward)
I called the police
They came disguised
Wearing white coats like doctors
Like angels from heaven
They slipped in
Avoiding all visiting hours
The statement
Took the entire day
⸻
Chapter 7: Day Seven
(General Ward)
“Mama! I’m here!”
He kept calling in my mind
A voice echoing
“Look—
The sunrises and sunsets
Over the Mekong river
The forests
The mushroom-shaped stones
The waterfalls
And the cliffside pocked with holes
The turtles and fish in the cave paintings
The tree that saved your life
The tiny body at the bottom of the cliff
I’m here, Mama
Save me! Mama
Save me!”
He
Was arrested
Reporters swarmed in
They wanted
More details
I gave interviews
Met many people
Said many words
On and on
As if telling
Someone else’s story
The child inside me
Still faintly alive
Listening, in pain
Waiting for death
Those few seconds of falling
From the cliff
Changed its fate forever
I think of it every moment
But this life
Will never meet
That soul again
…
(The operating room prepares for the abortion)
The End!
The storyline is adapted from a well-known true event.
—————————
Poem 2 Chinese version
坠崖之后的惊魂七日
文：©北道29/05/2025
第一日
（急诊科）
湄公河上升起的太阳
红的突然变成了黑
自由落体一般
坠落
帕登石崖上的壁画
那些海龟和鲶鱼
重新又淹没在水中
它们从岩壁上
逃脱
那些蘑菇大石柱
一个个地倒下来
其中沉睡的生灵
从破碎的石块中
惊醒
瀑布里
那从天上飞溅而下的
是涌动着的血液
红色
我仿佛听到
腹中的胎儿在哭泣
我的身体
破碎成了拚图
可是
我的孩子啊
你还好吗？
我听到旁边有人说
真是命大啊
悬崖上的树枝
救了她
腹中的胎儿
不知道可否能
存活！
我无法动弹我说不出话
周遭的喧闹与嘈杂
似乎来自
另一个
世界
我这是在阴间吗？
可我明明看见了他
他就站在我身边
假惺惺
“温柔地”抚弄着
我的头发
可那眼神
失望又恶毒
“怎么你还
没死呢？”
“那里没有监控，你如果把事情说出去，顶多我会被问话，
是啊怎么我还没有死？
如此丑陋
丈夫杀妻
父亲杀子
让我去死吧
医生请不要救我
我曾努力地生活着
日日夜夜不停劳作
三十岁的我
已是小有名气的女富商
可我缺少了爱情
直到他的到来
我以为我有了
简单幸福的生活
那双眼睛啊
也曾深情地看着我
“你愿意嫁给我吗？”
他问了我上千遍
他也曾牵着白马
跪在我面前
“骑白马的
不只是唐僧
还有王子哦！”
他说
他也曾在我门口
蹲了整整一个夜
“太想你了
又不想打扰你”
上帝啊是我不配吗？
还是我要求太高了？
你为何派一个恶魔来
反反复复伤害我
说好的看日出啊
那尽然是我的最后一次？
他说“去死吧！”
我就被推下了悬崖
34米的高度
景区的简介里写着
在两周年结婚纪念日
来临之际
我们的胎儿
已经
五个月大啊
啊我突然间
清醒了
不能死啊我不能死
我死了宝宝就没了
医生啊你们一定要救我
我的宝宝还好吗？
为了腹中的胎儿
我闭紧了我的嘴
不跟任何人说话
我知道他轻易
可以
随时随地弄死我
….
我那破碎不堪的身体
被人推进了手术室…
第二章：第二日
（重症监护室
私密单间）
昏迷中…
我在满是落叶的森林里
逃命一般的奔跑
身体的沉重
是我腹中的宝宝
后面有人追赶我
他的手里拿着刀
浅黄色的落日余辉
渐渐的在地平线消失
很快就没了光
我已看不见路
只顾着横冲直撞
“妈妈！妈妈！”
我听到一个童音在呼唤
“走这边…这边…”
是一个给我导路的孩子
看不清楚他的脸
他叫我妈妈
我发现我的肚子空了
“走这边…这边…快回头…危险…”
我仔细地看了看脚下
啊！悬崖！
麻醉褪去
我醒了过来
无数处被缝补的破碎
疼痛不已
输液袋里的药物
一滴一滴
注入
我们的身体
我真想啊 拔掉针头
药物啊
它会伤害我的胎儿
可不用药
还未度过危险期的我们
可能
都会死去
闭上眼
就是噩梦
睁开眼
就是地狱
比死神还凶险的
那个男人
他不吃不喝不休息
不走开片刻
紧紧地盯着我
医生护士来了又走
他有很多机会
可以再次杀了我
他在研究 我的呼吸
他的目光
在病房的物件里
游离
枕头啊枕头
他会不会捂死我？
我屏住呼吸
双眼紧闭
假装我仍旧
在昏迷
病床旁边的心电监护仪
哔…哔…哔…
好像也在不安地
等待一个
悲惨的结局
上帝啊
我只求我的孩子
能够从地狱里
逃离
第三章：第三日
（重症病房
私密单间）
那悬崖上的壁画
有三千年的历史
刻画它们的工匠们
在完成这惊世之作后
是否都抑郁着
跳下了悬崖？
每日每夜
那些从高楼大厦里
一跃而起的灵魂
是什么让他们
如此决绝地
迷恋
临死前
那最后一分钟
飞的感觉？
病床边桌上的一杯水
被护士不小心碰倒
玻璃杯从桌上掉下去
破损成无数的碎片
那不就是
现在的我吗？
还有我腹中
那被羊水裹着的
小生命
怀孕啊！
看什么日出？
为什么我那么傻？
尽又相信了他的话
登上了
那刻有3000年图腾的
悬崖
摔坏的水杯
墙上掉落的画
滑落地面的被子
掉到肩上的头发
从未想过
所有的自由落体
都是如此可怕
今天
来了几个警察
询问坠崖的原因
救命啊！
我好想牢牢抓住
他们的手臂
说出真相啊
说出心里的委屈
但那男人在盯着我
每一秒都可能变成
生命的最后时刻
警察带来的安全感
尽不敌我心中
对他的恐惧
“啊！我头晕！
一不留神，就掉了下去！”
我说
警察离开了
看着他们的背影
我的内心
哭了
第四章：第四日
（重症病房
私密单间）
我说
我原谅他了
象之前一样
我再次原谅了他
他曾划走公司帐户里的500万
七日之内便花完
我原谅了他
他隐瞒了婚前的负债
婚后我帮他还清了欠款
我原谅了他
他无所事事没有工作
每天只玩电脑打游戏
我把一家公司交给他
让他学着去打理
我无条件的支持他
朋友告诉我
在认识我之前
社交媒体上
他研究了我三年
如今细想
让人不寒而栗啊
为了腹中的胎儿
我不得不示弱
他知道我心软
就真的放松了警惕
同意让王女士来探视
她！
是我们共同的朋友
我记得她曾经说过
你要小心啊
你那么有钱
他怕不是
爱上的是你的钱？
果然啊
他爱上的是我的钱
相识恋爱求婚孕育
短暂又漫长的两年
只不过是一个
冷漠的圈套
那还未来世的小生命
他的亲生骨肉啊
也被当作了障碍
他一只在计划
将我们推下悬崖
我们都死了
所有的一切
就都是他的了
我突然声嘶力竭地喊叫
畜牲啊你是畜牲吗
我对你那么好
你不领情就算了
虎独不食子
你为何连亲身骨肉都要杀
那个男人站起身
有些惊噩的看着我
“你最好现在闭上嘴！
事情如果败露了
你们都死得比我早”
朋友小心地安抚他
“放心吧！放心吧！
我们不会告诉任何人
这是你们的家事
家丑不可外扬啊！“
但她包里的手机
一直都开着录音
那个录音
将是这场谋杀
唯一的证据
第五章：第五日
（重症病房转普通病房）
止痛药
让我分不清昼夜
是清晨吗
请让我醒来
别再让噩梦
不停纠缠着我
噩梦……
挂在墙上的结婚照
他在古怪的笑
不知何时
升腾起来一阵烟
黑的浓的
着火了
森林在燃烧
我在森林里跑
啊！又是那片熟悉的森林
“快跑啊快跑啊！妈妈！”
孩子的声音在喊叫
我看不见它
却被脚下的东西绊倒
我抬头
隐隐约约
若即若显
或明或暗地
是那个34米高的
悬崖
我蹲下身子
我的手
触摸到
一个圆圆地
湿热地
血肉模糊的
存在
那…
绊倒我的东西
象是…
尸块！
是那个
叫我妈妈的小孩…
惊魂！
终于
他放松了警惕
出门
买早餐去了
医生来查房
有一个坏消息
他说
你要做好心理准备
你肚子里的孩子
保不住了
太多的药
你的状况太差
它
保不住了
救命啊医生
救救我的孩子吧
它那么坚强
从悬崖上摔下
它都熬过来了
是啊真是个奇迹
医生说
如果当时它就走了
会造成你大出血
你们两个都会死
它一直撑着
是在保护妈妈呢
医生啊救命啊
救救我的孩子吧
它在保护我
它在保护我
可我却没能保护她
以后的日子怎么过
医生啊
趁他现在不在
我想告诉你件事
是他啊
把我们推下了悬崖…
是他是他
要杀了我们啊
医生将我
转移到了普通病房
四个人的病房
不允许家人陪护
早中晚
只有15分钟时间探视
在坠崖后的日子里
忧伤恐惧和焦虑
上帝怜悯
我终于得以
喘一口气
摆脱了他
严密的监视
第六章：第六日
（普通病房）
我报了警
伪装成医生
穿着白大褂的便衣
象救人的天使
从天而降
机警地
错开了所有的探试时间
笔录
做了一整天
第七章：第七日
（普通病房）
妈妈！我在这里！
它总在我脑海中呼唤
你看啊！
湄公河上的
日出与日落
那些森林
蘑菇大石柱
瀑布
以及
长满了洞的岩石
壁画里的龟和鱼
悬崖上那救了你的命的树
悬崖下的那具小小的身体
我在这里啊妈妈
救救我！
他
被抓捕了
来了好多的记者
它们想知道
更多的细节
我接受采访
见了很多人
说了很多话
滔滔不绝
像是在说别人的故事
腹中的胎儿
微微地
还活着
痛苦地听
等待着死
坠落悬崖的几秒钟
从此改变了它的命
我无时无刻不想它
可是
恐怕此生已无缘
…
（手术室正在准备人工流产手术）
完！
（故事情节改编于著名真实事件)
After the Cliff Fall
By ©Beidao29/05/2025
Chapter 1: Day One
(Emergency Room)
The sun rising
over the Mekong River
Suddenly turned
from red to black
Like free fall
I plummeted
On the cliffs of Pha Taem
Those cave paintings
Of turtles and catfish
Were submerged once again
From the rock walls
They escaped
The mushroom-shaped stone columns
One by one, collapsed
From the shattered stones
The ancient beings sleeping within
Awoke
In the waterfall
What splashes down from the sky
Is blood, surging
So red
I thought I heard
My unborn baby crying
My body
Shattered like a puzzle
But
My child,
Are you still okay?
Someone beside me said,
“What a miracle she survived!
The tree branches on the cliff
Saved her.
But the baby…
Can it survive?”
I couldn’t move, couldn’t speak
The noise and commotion around me
Felt like it came from
Another
World
Am I in the afterlife?
But I saw him
He stood beside me
Pretending to be gentle
Stroking my hair
But his eyes
Filled with disappointment and malice
“Why are you still alive!”
“There were no cameras there.
Even if you talk,
I’ll just be questioned.
When I return from the police station,
I’ll kill you slowly!”
Yes, why didn’t I die?
How ugly
A husband trying to kill his wife
A father trying to kill his child
Please, let me die!
Doctors, don’t save me!
I had worked so hard to live
Day and night without rest
At thirty,
I was already a well-known entrepreneur
But I lacked love
Until he came
And I believed
I finally had a simple, happy life
Those eyes once looked at me
With affection
“Will you marry me?”
He asked me a thousand times
He once led a white horse
Kneeling before me
“Not only monks ride white horses
Princes do too!”
He said
He once sat outside my door
All night
“I miss you so much
But didn’t want to disturb you.”
God, was I not worthy?
Did I ask too much?
Why did you send me
A demon
To wound me again and again?
We were supposed to watch the sunrise
Was that to be
My final moment?
He said, “Go to hell!”
And pushed me off the cliff
34 meters high
So the scenic sign says
On the eve of our second anniversary
Our unborn child
Already five months old
Suddenly
I woke up
I can’t die, I can’t die
If I die, the baby dies
Doctor, please save me!
Is my baby okay?
For the sake of the child
I sealed my lips shut
Said nothing to anyone
I knew how easily
He could kill me
Anywhere, anytime
(My broken, mangled body
Was wheeled into the OR…)
⸻
Chapter 2: Day Two
(ICU - Private Room)
Unconscious…
I ran through a forest
Covered with fallen leaves
Fleeing for my life
The weight I carried
My baby inside me
Someone chased behind me
Knife in his hand
The pale yellow sunset
Disappeared
Light faded
I couldn’t see the road
Only crashed through blindly
“Mom! Mom!”
A child’s voice called to me
“This way… this way…”
A child guiding me
I couldn’t see his face
He called me “Mom”
Then I noticed
My belly was empty
“This way… hurry… turn back… danger…”
I looked carefully at my feet
Ah! The cliff!
Anesthesia wore off
I woke up
Countless stitched wounds
Ached beyond words
From the IV drip
Medication slowly flowed
Into our bodies
I longed to pull the needle out
The drugs
They might hurt my baby
But without them
We might both die
Eyes closed
The nightmares came
Eyes open
Hell remained
More terrifying than death
Was him
He didn’t eat, didn’t drink, didn’t sleep
Refused to leave
Watched me like a hawk
Doctors and nurses
came and went
He had plenty of chances
To kill me again
He studied my breathing
His eyes
Scanned the room
Pillows oh pillows
Will he smother me?
I held my breath
Shut my eyes tight
Pretending to still be
Unconscious
The heart monitor beside the bed
Beep… beep… beep…
Even it seemed to anxiously
Await
A tragic ending
Oh God
Please
Let my child
Escape from this hell
⸻
Chapter 3: Day Three
(ICU - Private Room)
Those cliff carvings
Three thousand years old
Did the artisans who created them
Fall into depression
And leap from the cliff?
Every day, every night
Souls leaping from skyscrapers
What made them
So resolutely
Fascinated
By that final moment
Of flight?
A glass of water
on the bedside table
Was knocked over by a nurse
It fell, shattered
Into countless pieces
Isn’t that
Exactly what I’ve become?
And my baby
Fragilely
Wrapped in amniotic fluid
Pregnant
And still I believed him
Went to see a sunrise?
Why was I so foolish?
We climbed
That cliff carved with
Three-thousand-year-old totems
Broken water glass
A picture fallen from the wall
A blanket slipping to the floor
Hair falling over my shoulder
I never realized
All free falls
Are terrifying
Today
Several police officers arrived
Asked how I fell
Help me!
I wanted to grab them
Tell them the truth
Let out all my pain
But that man watched me
Every second might be
My last
The security they brought
Was no match
For my fear of him
“I was dizzy! I slipped and fell!”
I said
The police left
I watched their backs
My heart
Cried
⸻
Chapter 4: Day Four
(ICU - Private Room)
I said
I forgave him
Just like before
Once again
I forgave him
He took 5 million
From my company’s account
Spent it in a week
I forgave him
He hid debts from before marriage
After marriage, I helped him pay
I forgave him
He didn’t work
Played games all day
I gave him a company
Taught him to manage it
I supported him without question
A friend once told me
That before we met
He’d studied me on social media
For three years
Thinking back now
Chilling
For my baby’s sake
I had to act weak
He knew I was soft-hearted
Let down his guard
Allowed Ms. Wang to visit
She—
A mutual friend
She once warned me:
“You better be careful
You’re wealthy
Maybe he only loves your money.”
She was right
He loved the money
Everything
The romance, the proposal, the family—
All part of
A calculated trap
Even his own unborn child
Was an obstacle
He had planned
To push us off the cliff
If we died
Everything would be his
Suddenly I screamed
“You beast—are you even human?
I treated you so well!
Even a tiger spares its cubs
Why would you try to kill
Your own child?”
He stood up
Shocked
“You better shut your mouth!
If the thing gets out,
You’ll die before I do.”
Our friend calmed him carefully
“Relax, relax
We won’t tell anyone.
It’s your family’s business.
Private matters stay private.”
But her phone
In her purse
Was recording everything
That recording
Would be the only evidence
Of this murder attempt
⸻
Chapter 5: Day Five
(From ICU to General Ward)
The painkillers
Blurred day and night
Is it morning now?
Please, let me wake
Don’t let the nightmares
Keep haunting me
Nightmares…
The wedding photo on the wall
He’s smiling—strangely
From his face
At some point
Smoke began to rise
Thick and black
A fire broke out
The forest was burning
I was running through
Ah! That familiar forest—
Again
“Run, Mama! Run!”
A child’s voice was yelling
I couldn’t see him
But something tripped me
I looked up
Vaguely
Dimly visible, faintly glowing
That same
34-meter-high cliff
I crouched down
My hands
Touched something round
Wet
cold
A mass of flesh and blood
The thing that tripped me
It felt like…
A body
A child’s body
The one who called me “Mama”…
Terror…
Finally
He let down his guard
Left to get breakfast
The doctor came on rounds
And brought bad news
He said,
“You need to be prepared—”
“The baby inside you
Can’t be saved
Too many drugs
Your condition’s too poor
It won’t make it”
Doctor, please!
Save my child!
It’s so strong
It even survived
the fall from the cliff
“Yes, it’s a miracle,”
The doctor said
“If it had died right away
You’d have suffered
massive bleeding
You both would have died
Immediately
It held on
To protect its mother
That’s a miracle!”
Doctor, I’m begging you
Save my baby
It’s protecting me
But I… I didn’t protect it
How will I go on living?
Doctor
While he’s gone
I want to tell you something
It was him
He pushed us off
From the cliff…
He tried to kill us
The doctor moved me
To a general ward
Four beds per room
No family allowed
Overnight stay
Visitors permitted
Only fifteen minutes
Morning, noon, and night
Since the fall
From sorrow, fear, and anxiety
By the grace of God
I could finally
Catch my breath
Free from his
constant
surveillance
⸻
Chapter 6: Day Six
(General Ward)
I called the police
They came disguised
Wearing white coats like doctors
Like angels from heaven
They slipped in
Avoiding all visiting hours
The statement
Took the entire day
⸻
Chapter 7: Day Seven
(General Ward)
“Mama! I’m here!”
He kept calling in my mind
A voice echoing
“Look—
The sunrises and sunsets
Over the Mekong river
The forests
The mushroom-shaped stones
The waterfalls
And the cliffside pocked with holes
The turtles and fish in the cave paintings
The tree that saved your life
The tiny body at the bottom of the cliff
I’m here, Mama
Save me! Mama
Save me!”
He
Was arrested
Reporters swarmed in
They wanted
More details
I gave interviews
Met many people
Said many words
On and on
As if telling
Someone else’s story
The child inside me
Still faintly alive
Listening, in pain
Waiting for death
Those few seconds of falling
From the cliff
Changed its fate forever
I think of it every moment
But this life
Will never meet
That soul again
…
(The operating room prepares for the abortion)
The End!
The storyline is adapted from a well-known true event.
—————————
Poem 2 Chinese version
坠崖之后的惊魂七日
文：©北道29/05/2025
第一日
（急诊科）
湄公河上升起的太阳
红的突然变成了黑
自由落体一般
坠落
帕登石崖上的壁画
那些海龟和鲶鱼
重新又淹没在水中
它们从岩壁上
逃脱
那些蘑菇大石柱
一个个地倒下来
其中沉睡的生灵
从破碎的石块中
惊醒
瀑布里
那从天上飞溅而下的
是涌动着的血液
红色
我仿佛听到
腹中的胎儿在哭泣
我的身体
破碎成了拚图
可是
我的孩子啊
你还好吗？
我听到旁边有人说
真是命大啊
悬崖上的树枝
救了她
腹中的胎儿
不知道可否能
存活！
我无法动弹我说不出话
周遭的喧闹与嘈杂
似乎来自
另一个
世界
我这是在阴间吗？
可我明明看见了他
他就站在我身边
假惺惺
“温柔地”抚弄着
我的头发
可那眼神
失望又恶毒
“怎么你还
没死呢？”
“那里没有监控，你如果把事情说出去，顶多我会被问话，
是啊怎么我还没有死？
如此丑陋
丈夫杀妻
父亲杀子
让我去死吧
医生请不要救我
我曾努力地生活着
日日夜夜不停劳作
三十岁的我
已是小有名气的女富商
可我缺少了爱情
直到他的到来
我以为我有了
简单幸福的生活
那双眼睛啊
也曾深情地看着我
“你愿意嫁给我吗？”
他问了我上千遍
他也曾牵着白马
跪在我面前
“骑白马的
不只是唐僧
还有王子哦！”
他说
他也曾在我门口
蹲了整整一个夜
“太想你了
又不想打扰你”
上帝啊是我不配吗？
还是我要求太高了？
你为何派一个恶魔来
反反复复伤害我
说好的看日出啊
那尽然是我的最后一次？
他说“去死吧！”
我就被推下了悬崖
34米的高度
景区的简介里写着
在两周年结婚纪念日
来临之际
我们的胎儿
已经
五个月大啊
啊我突然间
清醒了
不能死啊我不能死
我死了宝宝就没了
医生啊你们一定要救我
我的宝宝还好吗？
为了腹中的胎儿
我闭紧了我的嘴
不跟任何人说话
我知道他轻易
可以
随时随地弄死我
….
我那破碎不堪的身体
被人推进了手术室…
第二章：第二日
（重症监护室
私密单间）
昏迷中…
我在满是落叶的森林里
逃命一般的奔跑
身体的沉重
是我腹中的宝宝
后面有人追赶我
他的手里拿着刀
浅黄色的落日余辉
渐渐的在地平线消失
很快就没了光
我已看不见路
只顾着横冲直撞
“妈妈！妈妈！”
我听到一个童音在呼唤
“走这边…这边…”
是一个给我导路的孩子
看不清楚他的脸
他叫我妈妈
我发现我的肚子空了
“走这边…这边…快回头…危险…”
我仔细地看了看脚下
啊！悬崖！
麻醉褪去
我醒了过来
无数处被缝补的破碎
疼痛不已
输液袋里的药物
一滴一滴
注入
我们的身体
我真想啊 拔掉针头
药物啊
它会伤害我的胎儿
可不用药
还未度过危险期的我们
可能
都会死去
闭上眼
就是噩梦
睁开眼
就是地狱
比死神还凶险的
那个男人
他不吃不喝不休息
不走开片刻
紧紧地盯着我
医生护士来了又走
他有很多机会
可以再次杀了我
他在研究 我的呼吸
他的目光
在病房的物件里
游离
枕头啊枕头
他会不会捂死我？
我屏住呼吸
双眼紧闭
假装我仍旧
在昏迷
病床旁边的心电监护仪
哔…哔…哔…
好像也在不安地
等待一个
悲惨的结局
上帝啊
我只求我的孩子
能够从地狱里
逃离
第三章：第三日
（重症病房
私密单间）
那悬崖上的壁画
有三千年的历史
刻画它们的工匠们
在完成这惊世之作后
是否都抑郁着
跳下了悬崖？
每日每夜
那些从高楼大厦里
一跃而起的灵魂
是什么让他们
如此决绝地
迷恋
临死前
那最后一分钟
飞的感觉？
病床边桌上的一杯水
被护士不小心碰倒
玻璃杯从桌上掉下去
破损成无数的碎片
那不就是
现在的我吗？
还有我腹中
那被羊水裹着的
小生命
怀孕啊！
看什么日出？
为什么我那么傻？
尽又相信了他的话
登上了
那刻有3000年图腾的
悬崖
摔坏的水杯
墙上掉落的画
滑落地面的被子
掉到肩上的头发
从未想过
所有的自由落体
都是如此可怕
今天
来了几个警察
询问坠崖的原因
救命啊！
我好想牢牢抓住
他们的手臂
说出真相啊
说出心里的委屈
但那男人在盯着我
每一秒都可能变成
生命的最后时刻
警察带来的安全感
尽不敌我心中
对他的恐惧
“啊！我头晕！
一不留神，就掉了下去！”
我说
警察离开了
看着他们的背影
我的内心
哭了
第四章：第四日
（重症病房
私密单间）
我说
我原谅他了
象之前一样
我再次原谅了他
他曾划走公司帐户里的500万
七日之内便花完
我原谅了他
他隐瞒了婚前的负债
婚后我帮他还清了欠款
我原谅了他
他无所事事没有工作
每天只玩电脑打游戏
我把一家公司交给他
让他学着去打理
我无条件的支持他
朋友告诉我
在认识我之前
社交媒体上
他研究了我三年
如今细想
让人不寒而栗啊
为了腹中的胎儿
我不得不示弱
他知道我心软
就真的放松了警惕
同意让王女士来探视
她！
是我们共同的朋友
我记得她曾经说过
你要小心啊
你那么有钱
他怕不是
爱上的是你的钱？
果然啊
他爱上的是我的钱
相识恋爱求婚孕育
短暂又漫长的两年
只不过是一个
冷漠的圈套
那还未来世的小生命
他的亲生骨肉啊
也被当作了障碍
他一只在计划
将我们推下悬崖
我们都死了
所有的一切
就都是他的了
我突然声嘶力竭地喊叫
畜牲啊你是畜牲吗
我对你那么好
你不领情就算了
虎独不食子
你为何连亲身骨肉都要杀
那个男人站起身
有些惊噩的看着我
“你最好现在闭上嘴！
事情如果败露了
你们都死得比我早”
朋友小心地安抚他
“放心吧！放心吧！
我们不会告诉任何人
这是你们的家事
家丑不可外扬啊！“
但她包里的手机
一直都开着录音
那个录音
将是这场谋杀
唯一的证据
第五章：第五日
（重症病房转普通病房）
止痛药
让我分不清昼夜
是清晨吗
请让我醒来
别再让噩梦
不停纠缠着我
噩梦……
挂在墙上的结婚照
他在古怪的笑
不知何时
升腾起来一阵烟
黑的浓的
着火了
森林在燃烧
我在森林里跑
啊！又是那片熟悉的森林
“快跑啊快跑啊！妈妈！”
孩子的声音在喊叫
我看不见它
却被脚下的东西绊倒
我抬头
隐隐约约
若即若显
或明或暗地
是那个34米高的
悬崖
我蹲下身子
我的手
触摸到
一个圆圆地
湿热地
血肉模糊的
存在
那…
绊倒我的东西
象是…
尸块！
是那个
叫我妈妈的小孩…
惊魂！
终于
他放松了警惕
出门
买早餐去了
医生来查房
有一个坏消息
他说
你要做好心理准备
你肚子里的孩子
保不住了
太多的药
你的状况太差
它
保不住了
救命啊医生
救救我的孩子吧
它那么坚强
从悬崖上摔下
它都熬过来了
是啊真是个奇迹
医生说
如果当时它就走了
会造成你大出血
你们两个都会死
它一直撑着
是在保护妈妈呢
医生啊救命啊
救救我的孩子吧
它在保护我
它在保护我
可我却没能保护她
以后的日子怎么过
医生啊
趁他现在不在
我想告诉你件事
是他啊
把我们推下了悬崖…
是他是他
要杀了我们啊
医生将我
转移到了普通病房
四个人的病房
不允许家人陪护
早中晚
只有15分钟时间探视
在坠崖后的日子里
忧伤恐惧和焦虑
上帝怜悯
我终于得以
喘一口气
摆脱了他
严密的监视
第六章：第六日
（普通病房）
我报了警
伪装成医生
穿着白大褂的便衣
象救人的天使
从天而降
机警地
错开了所有的探试时间
笔录
做了一整天
第七章：第七日
（普通病房）
妈妈！我在这里！
它总在我脑海中呼唤
你看啊！
湄公河上的
日出与日落
那些森林
蘑菇大石柱
瀑布
以及
长满了洞的岩石
壁画里的龟和鱼
悬崖上那救了你的命的树
悬崖下的那具小小的身体
我在这里啊妈妈
救救我！
他
被抓捕了
来了好多的记者
它们想知道
更多的细节
我接受采访
见了很多人
说了很多话
滔滔不绝
像是在说别人的故事
腹中的胎儿
微微地
还活着
痛苦地听
等待着死
坠落悬崖的几秒钟
从此改变了它的命
我无时无刻不想它
可是
恐怕此生已无缘
…
（手术室正在准备人工流产手术）
完！
（故事情节改编于著名真实事件)
——————————————————————
Poem 3:
Rebecca and Her Lover
By Beidao (©Yumei Tan 12022025)
(Translation version of original work)
Theme: Love
Rebecca’s sky
suddenly darkened,
with no sign
of light ever returning.
Her silk-like long hair
became tangled beyond repair.
cut it off, stiff and coarse
just enough for a seat cushion.
She stopped bathing
her once snow-white skin
festered with sores,
where mosquitoes and flies
secretly laid their eggs.
She stopped brushing her teeth
whenever she exhaled,
the uneasy smoke detector
trembled timidly.
She lost her appetite,
surviving only on
intravenous drips
to keep her alive.
She stopped speaking,
answering nothing,
even after hundreds of therapists
came and went.
She locked her door,
sleeping…
as if she were dead,
never waking.
only the occasional flicker of
her eyelids
proved that
she was still alive.
Was she dying?
Her anxious family
bought a coffin,
preparing for the worst.
But no one knew that
she was simply
heartbroken!
Though she had never loved,
she had lost love.
just as she was obsessed with sex
but had never known it.
She had lost love….
She had fallen for a painting
the one hanging by her bed.
inside it, there were two men
stared at her gentlely
the younger one
had visited her dreams,
speaking briefly.
He was handsome,
intelligent,
understanding.
his gaze was soft,
his voice was warm,
his words patient and guiding.
Between his brows, lay a black hole
once fallen into, there was no escape.
Twice, in her nightmares,
he was there.
his presence was immense,
slaying demons and monsters
effortlessly.
From then on,
she fell in love with sleep.
she darkened her own sky,
no longer fearing dreams.
She waited for him in dreams
years passed.
the painting on the wall
faded into obscurity.
People thought she had died,
they broke down her door.
on the empty bed,
only rose petals remained.
She was gone!
The painting by her bed
one figure was missing
At their third meeting,
they agreed that
to stay in the dream
constantly,
never to part again.
And so...
that year, that day,
she disappeared,
and so did he!
——————————————————————
By Beidao (©Yumei Tan 12022025)
(Translation version of original work)
Theme: Love
Rebecca’s sky
suddenly darkened,
with no sign
of light ever returning.
Her silk-like long hair
became tangled beyond repair.
cut it off, stiff and coarse
just enough for a seat cushion.
She stopped bathing
her once snow-white skin
festered with sores,
where mosquitoes and flies
secretly laid their eggs.
She stopped brushing her teeth
whenever she exhaled,
the uneasy smoke detector
trembled timidly.
She lost her appetite,
surviving only on
intravenous drips
to keep her alive.
She stopped speaking,
answering nothing,
even after hundreds of therapists
came and went.
She locked her door,
sleeping…
as if she were dead,
never waking.
only the occasional flicker of
her eyelids
proved that
she was still alive.
Was she dying?
Her anxious family
bought a coffin,
preparing for the worst.
But no one knew that
she was simply
heartbroken!
Though she had never loved,
she had lost love.
just as she was obsessed with sex
but had never known it.
She had lost love….
She had fallen for a painting
the one hanging by her bed.
inside it, there were two men
stared at her gentlely
the younger one
had visited her dreams,
speaking briefly.
He was handsome,
intelligent,
understanding.
his gaze was soft,
his voice was warm,
his words patient and guiding.
Between his brows, lay a black hole
once fallen into, there was no escape.
Twice, in her nightmares,
he was there.
his presence was immense,
slaying demons and monsters
effortlessly.
From then on,
she fell in love with sleep.
she darkened her own sky,
no longer fearing dreams.
She waited for him in dreams
years passed.
the painting on the wall
faded into obscurity.
People thought she had died,
they broke down her door.
on the empty bed,
only rose petals remained.
She was gone!
The painting by her bed
one figure was missing
At their third meeting,
they agreed that
to stay in the dream
constantly,
never to part again.
And so...
that year, that day,
she disappeared,
and so did he!
——————————————————————
Poem 3 Chinese version
瑞貝卡和她的情人
文：北道「©Yumei Tan 12022025」
瑞貝卡的天 突然黑了
再也沒有 要亮起来的
跡象
她那如絲的長發 打了無數個結
硬硬地 剪掉以後
恰好是一個坐墊
她不再洗澡
那曾經雪白的肌膚 長了膿瘡
蚊蠅們悄悄地
在那裡產下了卵
她不刷牙了
當她呼氣的時候
那不安的煙霧報警器
就怯怯地
振動了幾下
她茶飯不思
不得不靠營養液
靜脈注射 來維持生命
她不再說話 問什麼都不答
心理醫生都換了幾百個
她緊鎖房門
如死去一般 永遠都睡不醒
只是偶爾的動一動眼皮
證明自己 還在呼吸
她要死了嗎？
焦慮的家人
買了棺材
備着她的後事 以防萬一
可是沒有人知道 她只是失戀了
雖不曾戀愛過 但她失戀了
正如她 滿腦子想着性
却不曾有過性一樣
她失戀了…
她戀上了一幅畫 她床頭的一幅畫
畫里有兩個男人 他們在看着她
年輕的那一位 曾到訪她的夢
短暫地 與她談過話
他英俊、聰明、善解人意
他的眼神溫柔
他的語氣友善
他的開導 循循善诱
他的眉宇間 有個黑洞
讓人掉進去 就再也出不來
有兩場噩夢 他不曾缺席
他能量巨大
殺妖除怪
似乎
不費吹灰之力
所以從此 她迷戀上沉睡
她黑了自己的天 不再害怕做夢
她在夢里等他 已過去多年
牆上的那幅畫 轮廓再不清晰
人們以為她死了 砸開了她的房門
空档档的床上 有玫瑰花瓣
但却沒有人
床頭的那幅畫里
也少了一個人
第三次見面
他們說好了 就呆在夢里頭
再不必分離
所以…
那一年那一天
她不見了
他也不見了
瑞貝卡和她的情人
文：北道「©Yumei Tan 12022025」
瑞貝卡的天 突然黑了
再也沒有 要亮起来的
跡象
她那如絲的長發 打了無數個結
硬硬地 剪掉以後
恰好是一個坐墊
她不再洗澡
那曾經雪白的肌膚 長了膿瘡
蚊蠅們悄悄地
在那裡產下了卵
她不刷牙了
當她呼氣的時候
那不安的煙霧報警器
就怯怯地
振動了幾下
她茶飯不思
不得不靠營養液
靜脈注射 來維持生命
她不再說話 問什麼都不答
心理醫生都換了幾百個
她緊鎖房門
如死去一般 永遠都睡不醒
只是偶爾的動一動眼皮
證明自己 還在呼吸
她要死了嗎？
焦慮的家人
買了棺材
備着她的後事 以防萬一
可是沒有人知道 她只是失戀了
雖不曾戀愛過 但她失戀了
正如她 滿腦子想着性
却不曾有過性一樣
她失戀了…
她戀上了一幅畫 她床頭的一幅畫
畫里有兩個男人 他們在看着她
年輕的那一位 曾到訪她的夢
短暫地 與她談過話
他英俊、聰明、善解人意
他的眼神溫柔
他的語氣友善
他的開導 循循善诱
他的眉宇間 有個黑洞
讓人掉進去 就再也出不來
有兩場噩夢 他不曾缺席
他能量巨大
殺妖除怪
似乎
不費吹灰之力
所以從此 她迷戀上沉睡
她黑了自己的天 不再害怕做夢
她在夢里等他 已過去多年
牆上的那幅畫 轮廓再不清晰
人們以為她死了 砸開了她的房門
空档档的床上 有玫瑰花瓣
但却沒有人
床頭的那幅畫里
也少了一個人
第三次見面
他們說好了 就呆在夢里頭
再不必分離
所以…
那一年那一天
她不見了
他也不見了
——————————————————————-
Poem 4:
The Nurse, The Old Lady and The Ghost
By: 「© Yumei Tan (Beidao) 2024」
Hello
No response
Silence
Hello
The scent of death
Exists
Hello
Drawing closer
Cautious steps
Behind the wall
An old lady
There is
She’s alive!
In relief
The nurse sighs
The old lady speaks
The heaviness
Fades
The ghost slips away
It dislikes
The breath of life
Brought by the nurse
By: 「© Yumei Tan (Beidao) 2024」
Hello
No response
Silence
Hello
The scent of death
Exists
Hello
Drawing closer
Cautious steps
Behind the wall
An old lady
There is
She’s alive!
In relief
The nurse sighs
The old lady speaks
The heaviness
Fades
The ghost slips away
It dislikes
The breath of life
Brought by the nurse
—————————————————————-
Poem 5:
My Future is Bright
By「©Yumei Tan (pen: Beidao)11022025」
I won!
Just now,
with the shovel in my hand,
I drove away my competitors.
Standing on the truck,
I embraced and high-fived the other winners,
Tears of excitement
streaming from my injured eyes,
mixing with the dust,
shaken loose in the truck,
dancing in the cold January wind.
With my fresh from battle,
still-trembling hands,
I reached into the torn pocket
of my tattered jacket,
pulled out a nearly crumpled cigarette,
lit it,
placed it at the corner of my quivering lips.
Ah! I have reached the pinnacle of life!
like a great weight lifted,
I exhaled a few proud smoke rings.
Not long ago,
I was just like those I had defeated
the losers.
Starving, wandering,
in that filthy labor market
on the outskirts of the city.
Three days had passed,
no work.
I had no choice but to scavenge
through the uncollected roadside garbage
for scraps of food.
A few trucks had come before,
taking some of us away.
They were "quality laborers."
Oh no! I didn't think they were anything special
They had just spent a few more years in school
That it was…
They were nothing compared to me,
I am diligent, strong, and endure hardship,
I can sing mountain songs,
play tunes on leaves…
but the bosses didn’t care.
So I lingered there,
laughing and joking,
roughhousing with those like me.
Ah! Before I squeezed onto this truck,
They were still my friends.
Those failures
How unbelievable.
They were once my friends.
Finally, my chance came.
When that military-green truck
elegantly approached me,
Green! Oh the color of my hometown
I knew it would bring me good fortune.
The boss in the driver’s seat
rolled down the window,
barked roughly at the crowd:
“Twenty men!
Only twenty!
Get on!”
So, a hundred or so people
Swarmed forward.
The battle began.
Those who made it up were dragged down.
Those who hadn't climbed yet were yanked back.
Those still climbing were kicked away.
Those already on board fought with shovels.
Those on the ground fought with shovels.
In just a few minutes
A scene that felt like centuries
A swarm of ants,
Imagining themselves in a martial arts novel,
Shovels as their swords,
Clashing and striking
Blades flashing in the air.
I closed my eyes,
Swung my weapon wildly,
Stepped on a pile of "corpses,"
Desperately scrambling upward.
“Clang…”
One long metallic sound.
The impatient boss
slammed the truck gate shut.
Shouted, “Enough!”
The film cut.
The stage cleared.
The war ended.
I stood victorious in the truck.
Ah! I finally won, for once.
My future is bright.
I put on my straw hat,
Tied the strap,
Pulled down the brim.
That was a proud worker’s hat.
Standing high on the truck,
I gazed down upon the world below.
As the truck drove forward,
I slowly left behind
that battlefield of smoke and dust.
Like a hero,
I flicked my cigarette butt into the wind.
The corner of my lips
Curled into a faint smile.
Ahead of me
Lies a bright future
A one-day, cash-paid,
Temporary job unloading cargo!
©Yumei Tan 11.02.2025
—————————————————————————
原文
我的前途一片光明
-北道 「©Yumei Tan 11022025」
我贏了
就在剛才
我用我手中的铁锹
打跑了我的競爭者們
我站在貨車上
跟其他的贏家一起
激動地擁抱擊掌
我滚燙的熱淚
從我那負傷的眼睛中流出
和着貨車里抖落的沙塵一起
在一月的冷風中飛舞
我用我那還在顫抖着的
剛剛戰鬥完的雙手
從我那破損的上衣衣兜里
掏出支快要被揉碎的香煙
點燃它
放入我那微微抽搐着的右嘴角
啊！人生到達了顛峰
如釋重負一般
我的嘴里吐出幾個驕傲的煙圈
也就在不久之前
我還在和那些被我打敗的失敗者們
飢腸轆轆地 徘徊在
城郊那個肮脏的人才市場
已經三天了
沒有活干
我不得不在路邊那些
還沒來得及處理掉的垃圾里
翻找食物
曾經來了幾輛車
帶走了我們中的一些人
他們是優質的勞動力
哦不！我覺得他們沒有什麼了不起
只不過多讀了幾天書而已
他們其實不能跟我比
我勤勞能吃苦我力氣很大
我會唱山歌
我會用樹葉吹奏小曲
可老板們并看不起
所以我不得不時常流連於此
跟那些同我一樣的人們
說說笑笑 打打鬧鬧
啊！在我擠上貨車之前
他們似乎還是我的朋友
那些失敗者們
真不可思議啊
他們都曾經是我的朋友
終於
我的機會來了
當這輛軍綠色的大貨車
優雅地向我靠近
綠色啊那是我家鄉的顏色
我知道它將給我帶來好運
開車的老板搖開車窗
對着人群粗鲁地吼叫
二十個人
只要二十個
上車！
於是一百來號人
一窩蜂地衝過去
戰爭開始了
已爬上車的被沒上車的拉下去
沒爬上車的被已上車的踢下去
正在上車的被已上車的推下去
正在上車的被還沒上車的拉回去
都已經在車上的用铁鍬在車上對彼此互相攻擊
還沒上車的在地上用铁锹對彼此互相攻擊
也就幾分鐘的時間
如同過去了幾個世紀
一群螞蟻
以為自己活在武俠小說裡
鐵鍬是他們的劍
乒乒乓乓 刀光劍影
我閉著眼睛
胡亂地揮舞着我手中的武器
踩着一堆“屍體”
拚命地往上爬去
磞…一個長音
失去耐心的老板推上了檔門
喊了一聲“停”
電影咔了
劇場散了
戰鬥結束了
我成功地站在了貨車里
啊！我終於贏了一次
我的前途一片光明
我戴上我的草帽
系上帽繩
壓低帽沿
那是頂驕傲的工作的帽子
我站在高高的貨車上
俯視着大地蒼生
跟着行駛的車一起
一點一點遠離
那充滿硝烟的戰場
我象英雄一樣
將煙頭彈進了風里
我的嘴角
掠過一絲微笑
等待我的
將是美好的未來
一份日結的卸貨的臨時工作！
「©谭玉梅（北道） 11022025」
By「©Yumei Tan (pen: Beidao)11022025」
I won!
Just now,
with the shovel in my hand,
I drove away my competitors.
Standing on the truck,
I embraced and high-fived the other winners,
Tears of excitement
streaming from my injured eyes,
mixing with the dust,
shaken loose in the truck,
dancing in the cold January wind.
With my fresh from battle,
still-trembling hands,
I reached into the torn pocket
of my tattered jacket,
pulled out a nearly crumpled cigarette,
lit it,
placed it at the corner of my quivering lips.
Ah! I have reached the pinnacle of life!
like a great weight lifted,
I exhaled a few proud smoke rings.
Not long ago,
I was just like those I had defeated
the losers.
Starving, wandering,
in that filthy labor market
on the outskirts of the city.
Three days had passed,
no work.
I had no choice but to scavenge
through the uncollected roadside garbage
for scraps of food.
A few trucks had come before,
taking some of us away.
They were "quality laborers."
Oh no! I didn't think they were anything special
They had just spent a few more years in school
That it was…
They were nothing compared to me,
I am diligent, strong, and endure hardship,
I can sing mountain songs,
play tunes on leaves…
but the bosses didn’t care.
So I lingered there,
laughing and joking,
roughhousing with those like me.
Ah! Before I squeezed onto this truck,
They were still my friends.
Those failures
How unbelievable.
They were once my friends.
Finally, my chance came.
When that military-green truck
elegantly approached me,
Green! Oh the color of my hometown
I knew it would bring me good fortune.
The boss in the driver’s seat
rolled down the window,
barked roughly at the crowd:
“Twenty men!
Only twenty!
Get on!”
So, a hundred or so people
Swarmed forward.
The battle began.
Those who made it up were dragged down.
Those who hadn't climbed yet were yanked back.
Those still climbing were kicked away.
Those already on board fought with shovels.
Those on the ground fought with shovels.
In just a few minutes
A scene that felt like centuries
A swarm of ants,
Imagining themselves in a martial arts novel,
Shovels as their swords,
Clashing and striking
Blades flashing in the air.
I closed my eyes,
Swung my weapon wildly,
Stepped on a pile of "corpses,"
Desperately scrambling upward.
“Clang…”
One long metallic sound.
The impatient boss
slammed the truck gate shut.
Shouted, “Enough!”
The film cut.
The stage cleared.
The war ended.
I stood victorious in the truck.
Ah! I finally won, for once.
My future is bright.
I put on my straw hat,
Tied the strap,
Pulled down the brim.
That was a proud worker’s hat.
Standing high on the truck,
I gazed down upon the world below.
As the truck drove forward,
I slowly left behind
that battlefield of smoke and dust.
Like a hero,
I flicked my cigarette butt into the wind.
The corner of my lips
Curled into a faint smile.
Ahead of me
Lies a bright future
A one-day, cash-paid,
Temporary job unloading cargo!
©Yumei Tan 11.02.2025
—————————————————————————
原文
我的前途一片光明
-北道 「©Yumei Tan 11022025」
我贏了
就在剛才
我用我手中的铁锹
打跑了我的競爭者們
我站在貨車上
跟其他的贏家一起
激動地擁抱擊掌
我滚燙的熱淚
從我那負傷的眼睛中流出
和着貨車里抖落的沙塵一起
在一月的冷風中飛舞
我用我那還在顫抖着的
剛剛戰鬥完的雙手
從我那破損的上衣衣兜里
掏出支快要被揉碎的香煙
點燃它
放入我那微微抽搐着的右嘴角
啊！人生到達了顛峰
如釋重負一般
我的嘴里吐出幾個驕傲的煙圈
也就在不久之前
我還在和那些被我打敗的失敗者們
飢腸轆轆地 徘徊在
城郊那個肮脏的人才市場
已經三天了
沒有活干
我不得不在路邊那些
還沒來得及處理掉的垃圾里
翻找食物
曾經來了幾輛車
帶走了我們中的一些人
他們是優質的勞動力
哦不！我覺得他們沒有什麼了不起
只不過多讀了幾天書而已
他們其實不能跟我比
我勤勞能吃苦我力氣很大
我會唱山歌
我會用樹葉吹奏小曲
可老板們并看不起
所以我不得不時常流連於此
跟那些同我一樣的人們
說說笑笑 打打鬧鬧
啊！在我擠上貨車之前
他們似乎還是我的朋友
那些失敗者們
真不可思議啊
他們都曾經是我的朋友
終於
我的機會來了
當這輛軍綠色的大貨車
優雅地向我靠近
綠色啊那是我家鄉的顏色
我知道它將給我帶來好運
開車的老板搖開車窗
對着人群粗鲁地吼叫
二十個人
只要二十個
上車！
於是一百來號人
一窩蜂地衝過去
戰爭開始了
已爬上車的被沒上車的拉下去
沒爬上車的被已上車的踢下去
正在上車的被已上車的推下去
正在上車的被還沒上車的拉回去
都已經在車上的用铁鍬在車上對彼此互相攻擊
還沒上車的在地上用铁锹對彼此互相攻擊
也就幾分鐘的時間
如同過去了幾個世紀
一群螞蟻
以為自己活在武俠小說裡
鐵鍬是他們的劍
乒乒乓乓 刀光劍影
我閉著眼睛
胡亂地揮舞着我手中的武器
踩着一堆“屍體”
拚命地往上爬去
磞…一個長音
失去耐心的老板推上了檔門
喊了一聲“停”
電影咔了
劇場散了
戰鬥結束了
我成功地站在了貨車里
啊！我終於贏了一次
我的前途一片光明
我戴上我的草帽
系上帽繩
壓低帽沿
那是頂驕傲的工作的帽子
我站在高高的貨車上
俯視着大地蒼生
跟着行駛的車一起
一點一點遠離
那充滿硝烟的戰場
我象英雄一樣
將煙頭彈進了風里
我的嘴角
掠過一絲微笑
等待我的
將是美好的未來
一份日結的卸貨的臨時工作！
「©谭玉梅（北道） 11022025」
